Danny Straub in Thailand

Danny is a recent transplant to Thailand and has been willing to put up with my torture on the off-road trails in Chiang Mai. Here's a clip of Danny demonstrating how to duck paddle up a heavily rutted section of uphill.

Off Road with Robert

I found a sweet 97 Yamaha TTR Raid 250 for Robert and today was our inaugural off road ride. We started off with me on the mighty WR200, aka muppet chaser, but quickly returned it to the crafty hands of Mr Ball so he could continue his work on the carburetor. With the DRZ400S in hand we headed back to the 700 year stadium to continue our ride. We did see the muppets on the trail but opted to explore some trails that haven’t been mapped yet rather than chase their butts across the mountain.



If you’ve ridden the single track trail from the 700 year stadium to Huay Theung Thao you know there are two places where there are nasty branches hanging low and where the foliage makes it difficult to see the trail. After fighting to get me and the DRZ through, I stopped and got out the Leatherman with saw blade to do a little trail maintenance.



Here’s Robert trying to use his puny little 85 KGs to pull a branch from the undergrowth. I said “Here Son, let me show you how to do that” as I weigh in at just a few more kilos than him. We got the trail pretty well cleaned up but have to go back with the "chainsaw in a can" to finish the job.



All in all, we rode 50 km off road and had a great day. I was really nice to have my best riding buddy back on the trail with me. I hope we can share many more rides together.

Signs of 50

Some thoughts about turning 50 this week...

Sarcasm, just one more service I offer.

Pushing 50 is exercise enough.

I have one nerve left… and you’re getting on it!

Thank you for not being perky.

I’m much too young to be this old.

I’m smiling, that alone should scare you.

I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you.

Embarrassing my children, just one more service I offer.

Youth passes, but with luck immaturity can last a lifetime.

50 is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning.

“Not a morning person” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

Where I live the squeaky wheel gets replaced.

I’ve forgotten more than you probably ever learned.

There’s no way to excuse the way I’m about to behave.

You can hold your stomach in for just so many years.

Do I look like a people person?

They’re making adults much younger these days.

I’m not anti-social… I’m just not very friendly.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

What if the “Hokey Pokey” really IS what it’s all about?

How about NEVER? Is never good for you?

I’m not tense, I’m just terribly alert.

I wasn’t flirting, I was just being friendly.

After 50 your body has a mind of its own.

All stressed out and no one to choke.

Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster and with more energy.

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Life is short, break some rules.

Mateship

Being a human kickstand while your riding mate runs in to the 7-11, is this good mateship?

A well known GT Rider was quite upset with me recently because I wouldn't meet with him to discuss what he called "mateship". I tried to explain to him that he was stepping beyond his boundaries. You know, the whole glass houses & stones thing. I don't think he understood. In my opinion, "mate" should be used as a noun and not as a verb, especially when you're talking about "mateship"

Maybe I'm missing something or is this a case of "farang rules don't apply here"?

Guilt

A picture is worth a thousand words. Look at this one, guilty or not guilty?

Luke and the pole he Hiekeled, doesn't he look guilty?

Lucky for me I didn't slow down to see what the sound behind me was as it was Luke's CRF250 trying to knock me down like so many bowling pins.

Off the road again

Me and my traveling buddy, Willie Nelson. We shared a few laughs in first class on our way from Houston to Raleigh a few years after the IRS busted him and he had to fly common carrier like the rest of us.

Anyway, yes I've been off the road and off the trail again. The off road part was on purpose but the off trail stuff wasn't. I think it's all Luke's fault. Justin and I were doing just fine exploring all of the off road trails we could find between home and Samoeng and then Luke came back and the old testosterone level got cranked up a few notches.

I learned to carry your own pain killers when adventuring in the jungle. I have Vicodin (codeine) for the small stuff like bruises and bumps and I also have some stronger stuff in case of compound fractures. It's a long way from the jungle to the hospital and the last thing I want to do is suffer while I'm bouncing along in the back of an old pickup. This is especially helpful if you're riding in Laos or Cambodia as the standard protocol if you need medical attention there is to get to Bangkok ASAP.

A crazy rooster spotted in a lychee orchard

BBQ the tree killer - at least I crashed with dignity and didn't slip in an oil spot on the side of the road and scar up my tg who was on the back.

Big & Tall says "good job"

Helmet cams at the ready, luckily they didn't capture my graceful dismount

Team Red shows us how it's done

Team Blue is not one to be outdone

Sometimes the trail is hard to see

You never know who you're going to find in the jungle

It's always good to have Ian along on the trail

Classic example...

... of why I enjoy living in Thailand vs. living in the US of A.

Click here.

Target is getting sued for not making their internet web site accessible to the blind?

Unbelievable... Welcome to the land of entitlement, the US of A.

Off road again

I've been riding off road with Justin just about every other day for the last month. If we had enough gear and didn't have to dry our boots out after every ride we'd probably be out every day.

Anyway, Luke just got back to Thailand after being in blighty for two months. He was anxious to see some of the trails we had discovered and anxious to get back on his CRF250. It had rained hard the previous two nights and the trails were wet so we thought we would head for the south side of Doi Pui and explore behind the Night Safari.

The south face of the mountain has somewhat steeper trails but they tend to be more hard/sandy/rocky/gravelly with very little clay so we thought that would be a good choice. It turned out that water running down the sandy hard packed trails didn't make for easy uphill riding so we abandoned our quest for the summit and headed to explore an enduro trail near the 1269 I discovered on a scouting trip a week earlier.

On the way to the enduro trail I heard a funny noise behind me and at the time, didn't think much about it as Luke and Justin were taking turns to see who could ride the longest wheelie. I got to the next turn and waited a few minutes for my friends and went to look for them after a few.

That funny noise I heard was Luke's CRF sliding up behind me and nearly tagging me while Luke rolled along the road and did a Hiekel on one of the cement posts. Justin said that if I had slowed to see what was making the noise I would have been whacked by the CRF from behind. Luke had rolled on hard in 5th gear coming out of a corner and because he was on knobbies he low sided.

Damage? The CRF now has a nice sharp edge on the left foot peg, the bark buster on the LH side has been shaved down a little. The cement post was merely bent 20 degrees to one side. Luke's RH palm has some road rash and his white butt is going to be sore from the slide down the road.

Those are Justin's hands and Luke's butt. What are mates for anyways? If they won't loan you money for stereos and CDs, what good are they?

Meanwhile, I'm waiting for the "boys" to rest up so we can continue our ride. I'm the old man of the group, they're supposed to be waiting for me!

We get to the enduro trail and we're having a blast roosting our way up the hill. I decided to ride TP and had the misfortune of whacking a rock with my left boot. I damn near cried it hurt so bad. I stopped, cussed, hopped around on one foot and waited for them to come back before I headed home for the shower and to Chiang Mai Ram hospital for a 300 baht xray. Nothing broken, the area under my metatarsal bones is swollen and bruised as well. 100 meters from where I split off with the boys, Justin whacked a rock as well.

Hope we can go out again tomorrow!

BBQ

Are You a Good Rider?

What is a good rider?

Ask 20 people what makes a good motorcycle rider and you’ll probably get 20 different answers, most of them centered on the generally accepted principle that the fastest riders are the best riders. “He has to be a good rider because he can ride faster than me” seems to be the prevailing sentiment. Ask anyone knowledgeable who the best rider in the world is and they will probably say Valentino Rossi – a multi time Moto GP champion.

If you think about motorcycles as Freud would, you quickly realize that there’s a whole lot of machismo at play. Most riders, without giving it much thought at all, equate riding well with going fast. After all, nobody wants to be the slowest rider in the group, unless you are BDB.

A while back I had a conversation with a fellow rider and he fell right into the macho trap of equating riding fast with riding “good”. When I called him out on this he realized what he had done and changed what he said to something more like “He’s a really good, fast rider”

Myself, I won’t ride if I don’t feel right. That means that I have to be 100% aware and 100% ready to react to the threats that are going to be presented to me. Riding is a good activity for me because if I’m on the road and I’m spending the night out with the boys, I won’t drink too much because I know that I won’t ride the next morning with a hangover.

I had my first and only road accident on a motorcycle when I was 17. It was about 2 weeks after I bought my first road bike, a 2 stroke 1974 Kawasaki 750 triple. I was showing off and whacked a fire hydrant. Luckily I didn’t get hurt. It DID scare the crap out of me and I believe it also gave me a very healthy respect for motorcycles.

When I ride on the road, I do it with the attitude that every bike, car, truck, cow, buffalo, dog, chicken, etc. is out to kill me and my job is to prevent them from doing that. I am constantly scanning the road, checking the mirrors, looking for dogs that don’t see me so I can give them a toot on my horn, looking for scooters that are getting ready to dart across the road so they can make a u-turn on the divided highway, looking for sand, gravel or oil in the corners.

When I ride in the dirt, I ride for fun. I have fallen in the dirt too many times to count. In Thailand, dirt riding can be somewhat similar to road riding because the trails you ride on often link remote villages to the real world. You may come around a corner to find a step through in your lane coming right at you. You might be climbing a hill and find a pickup truck sliding down the hill towards you.

I used to think that the best riders were those that didn’t get hurt, didn’t endanger themselves or anyone else (an oxymoron because motorcycle riding is an inherently dangerous thing to do), those that didn’t ride when they’ve been drinking or those that didn’t ride at night.

Now that I’m older, I have finally learned what being a good rider is all about. Being a good rider means that you never stop learning to be a better rider.

Jewish Geography

Jewish Geography, aka “JG”

If you know about JG then you know that it is all about “You are who you know” or “You are where you’ve traveled”

I’ve seen JG used by Jews and non-Jews.

I like to relate this line of thinking to motorcycle riding buddies. “You are who where you’ve ridden” or “you are who you’ve ridden with”

When you voluntarily step up and accept someone else as your riding partner as opposed to letting a “ride organizer” choose who is coming on the ride, you are making a statement. You are making a statement of that person’s worthiness as a riding partner. I would probably ride most anyone at least once. If I’ve ridden with them two times or more then I am making an IMPLIED statement as to their ride-worthy ability and your willingness to be associated with them on a ride. Like most everyone else, I am willing to give anyone a second chance to show what they are made of.

I have ridden with people, on rides that have been organized by someone else, that I will probably never ride with again. I’ve also ridden with people that I would like to ride with again.

What about you?

I’m really not that old…

But if you can remember this, you have to be at least as old as I am. I have to make sure to include one of these in the parts/tool kit I’m preparing for an upcoming motorcycle trip to Cambodia, Laos and then Thailand.

BBQ (and I thought my Leatherman Wave tool was cool...)

Marshmallow Peeps

I have to thank my son-in-law for this one, I never would have thought this up by myself. Every year at Easter time (in the US), there are special candies for sale. There are these sickeningly sweet marshmallow baby chicks that are probably the nutritional equivalent of cotton candy.

Last Easter while waiting for the feast at my Mom's, Tom told us how he used to put them in the microwave to watch them grow. And so we did...

Video here

Sam~A~Lam~A~Ding~Dong

This video is of my Sister's daughter and my favorite niece, Samantha. I mean really, even if I had more than one niece, she would still be my favorite niece. There will only be be one Sam~A~Lam~A~Ding~Dong.

She used to say that the only person who could call her Sam~A~Lam~A~Ding~Dong was Uncle Barry but when I saw her using that name on her myspace.com page I thought it would be OK to post this video.

Uncle Barry...

I love the smell of Nitro in the morning!

I live in Chiang Mai Thailand and haven't been to a NHRA National event in over 5 years. Robert and I took a side trip to Vegas to attend the NHRA SummitRacing.com Nationals last April.

In addition to the huge supercharger on top of the engine that pumps air into the engine, they run on a fuel mixture of 85% nitromethane and 15% methanol. “The high temperature of vaporization of nitromethane means that it will absorb substantial engine heat as it vaporizes, providing an invaluable cooling mechanism.” And, nitromethane is an oxygen bearing fuel as well.

One of the great things about Top Fuel racing is that you can enjoy it even if you’re deaf – the sound just rumbles through your body.

My Google video is here

Vegas stunts, the boys from revpro.net

Robert & I stopped in Vegas to take in the NHRA Nationals last April. I know, April was a long time ago. We stayed at Binions on Fremont st and saw these guys doing their show Saturday night.

The boys from revpro.net

I installed Adobe Premiere Pro CS3 to do the editing on this clip. Pretty steep learning curve compared to Windoze Movie Maker which I guess should be expected for a "pro" software package. I have lots more video to edit, as long as I'm feeling under the weather and it's raining outside, I'll be posting more soon. BBQ...

What did you do for fun today?

This is what we did.



Here's video of Justin jumping the legendary Belgian Step.

Responsibility

As I was writing this recent post to my blog, the focus of the piece turned to responsibility. Too many times people don't take responsibility for what they do nor do they take responsibility for what happens to them. Yeah, that's right, you are responsible not only for your actions but also for what happens to you.

This is a concept that a lot of people have trouble understanding. Let me illustrate with a couple of examples.

Imagine your heart is broken because you catch your girlfriend shacking up with another guy in Samui when she tells you that she's on a junket with the girls from the travel agency or that your gf becomes pregnant and you know you're not the father because you had a vasectomy 10 years ago.

Who's responsible for your broken heart? The girl who ripped your heart out of your chest, tossed it on the floor and stomped on it with her heels, or you?

You are.

If you hadn't let her get close to you, your feelings could never have been hurt.

In case you don't get it, here's another example. When you're riding your motocy in Thailand and get T-boned by a step-through, who's responsible?

You are.

When I say this to people they think I'm crazy. "Of course the step-through is responsible" is the answer most often given.

In fact, I can tell you who is responsible for any motorcycle accident - the rider is responsible. The rider CHOSE to get on the bike and ride it, thus making the decision to put himself in harm's way by participating in a risk filled activity. Most people don't take any responsibility for their decisions or actions and feel victimized when something bad happens to them.

If you can get your head around this and really take responsibility for what happens to you, you'll find that it's an incredibly empowering way to live your life. You might say that I'm just playing with words here and that I don't know what I'm talking about. Like I said, most people don't get this and most likely never will.

Money, again...

Somebody posted a comment in this post that quoted Shakespeare. I guess great minds think alike eh?

From Shakespeare's Hamlet, 1603:
LORD POLONIUS:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

That’s the last thing I would want, to have the edge of my husbandry dulled.

The lender cc'ed a couple of dozen people on this email. In doing so, he comes off looking like a petty, whining, name calling jerk.

Assuming that you have made those last two payments (which I have yet to confirm) here is your current balance:

Balance as of May 1 64,060B
Payment – May 2 -3000B
Payment – May 18 -3000B
Payment – May 22 -35,000B
Balance as of May 22 23,060B

As you can see, your figures only take into account the amounts that you originally borrowed over a 6 and 1/2 year period. You were informed quite some time ago that you would be charged whatever interest that I was paying to carry your debt. And you agreed to it.

So as far as I am concerned, your balance is still 23,060 baht, and will continue to grow at the interest rate that I am paying for that money. You can take your "BALANCE now equals ZERO baht" comment and stick it right up there with the rest of your BS.

What the *&^% do you think, xxxxxxxx? That the rest of the world owes you a living? Guess again. It is real funny that I was your "good buddy" when you needed the cash, but after 6 years of putting up with your crap, I am a rotten b*&^%$d for wanting my own money back.

You have told me to "Please see that you distribute this to every man & dog whom you have bad-mouthed / emailed me behind my back!" Rest assured that I will do that - and more. But what they will be told is the complete truth about the situation - and that you have been, and continue to be, an arrogant prick.
And, by the way, when you tell somone the truth about a situation, it is not "bad-mouthing". Your own actions have ruined your reputation - not me telling people about your actions.

This money that you still owe is not in any way making money for me. It is only recovering what I am out of pocket - interest that I have paid on this money for the past 6 1/2 years. Let's hear your reasons why I should be eating those costs, instead of saying "F&^% You - that is all you are getting".

I have put up with more than enough of your crap. You have often cried "I have no money to pay you" then get caught blowing the cash on booze, girls, and vacations. And anyone that knows you realizes that this is true.

And your promise of a year ago - that the debt would be completely paid off by the end of 2006? Well the talk was not followed by a single baht. You know the saying - Money talks, BS walks.

So screw you and your totals. You still owe me lots of money, and I intend to keep asking for it.

Soon after this email was sent, about 6 of the cc'ed people replied to all asking to be excluded from future emails. Likely there will be efforts made to choose sides in this conflict.

The borrower has made what he considers a final payment to the lender. Good for him, paying the principal off. The lender is still seeking interest over 20,000 baht.

Is there any way that you could take assertive action to collect a 6 year old debt from a "friend" and not look like a jerk? Probably not. These guys must have been good friends at one time, now it seems that money has divided them forever.

If this had happened back in the USA, the lender could have filed a suit in small claims court, won a judgment and taken steps to garnish the borrowers wages or assets. I had to employ this tactic once to recover my money.

I have a friend that told me a story of how he spent $10,000 to collect a $375 debt. This guy is a good riding buddy. Money can make you do funny things. We ride together and have many similar research interests. We joke about loaning each other money often because we both know that the quickest way to lose a friend is to loan him money.

For farangs in Thailand, there is no legal recourse in cases like this. We have to rely on the integrity of our fellow farang to resolve these kinds of problems.

In a similar matter there was a farang that owned a motorcycle shop in Bangkok. To make a long story short, he let a dishonest employee get leverage over his business and eventually lost the assets of the business leaving many farang customers with unkept promises of bikes and/or book & plates. Who's responsible for the unkept promises? The owner who didn't watch his business close enough.

Who's responsible for this rift between these 2 ex-friends? They both are.

Who do I think is right in this case? In my opinion, neither party can take the high ground. The lender loaned money to a borrower that was a bad credit risk. Suck it up and admit that you screwed up. The borrower is at fault as well for not clearing the books long ago.

The lender has an apparently big heart and has even loaned money to members of his Thai wife's family. I can't imagine myself ever doing that - even if I had Thai wife. If you look in a Thai-English dictionary you'll see "loan" in English translates as "kong faak" (ของฝาก - gift) in Thai.

We don't like to see our fellow riding buddies suffer and will do what we can to help them out.

In the words of Rodney King, why can't we all just get along?

One last off-road trip...

With the off-road riding season coming to a close and my riding buddy Greg leaving Chiang Mai soon, we decided to take an overnight trip by dirt. There were three riders (not drivers), BarryBBQ, Dr. G, and Alaska Joe. I rode my DRZ400, Greg drove my XR250 and Joe rented an XR250. We left Chiang Mai and headed to Wat Chan, stopped for lunch and headed to Pai. We noticed that the bridge labeled “This river crossing wet season impassable” in section E4 of the latest MHS map was finished and a river crossing was no longer required. Chiang Mai – Samoeng – Wat Chan – Pai was kind of boring, not my idea of a great dirt ride.

Pai didn’t seem as bad as the last time I was there in November, only a few hippies, lots of empty rooms. We ate a nice farang meal and made plans to explore some single track the next day. Our plan was to leave Pai and ride east to Wiang Haeng where we would stop for lunch and continue south to Huai Ya Sai and then follow the trail labeled “This Track Motorcycle Only” on the latest MHS map. The trail from Pai to Wiang Haeng had recently been bladed and made for good riding with very little traffic. I enjoyed riding ahead of the group on my DR, occasionally twisting the throttle hard and roosting some dirt behind me.

In Wiang Haeng we stopped for noodles and headed south – in search of single track. We made numerous water crossings and did our best to follow the nice single track trail towards Muang Khong but our efforts were thwarted by a trail that disappeared. We came to a section of trail where the Mae Taeng river cut through two very steep banks and stopped to evaluate the situation. Greg walked across the river and identified a trail that continued south so one by one, we crossed the knee high river and continued on our way. We only got about 500 meters before we lost the trail and hit a steep bank on the west side of the river with no discernable trail visible on the other side. By this time, it was 14:00 and we decided it was best to lose face and return to Wiang Haeng to follow the 1322 back home. I took the lead and made the mistake of letting my fingers slip off the clutch lever and made a face plant on the trail.

2 km later, Greg made a slight error in judgment and dropped my XR in a very small water crossing. Of course, he wouldn’t smile for a photo – nor even suffer the shame of having one’s picture taken with a downed bike. Damage to the bike? Broken LH mirror – it cost 30 baht at the Chinaman’s shop on Chiang Moi road to replace it.

Joe must have been feeling pretty smug as he was the only rider who hadn’t tasted the dirt yet. We let him ride ahead and watched with glee as his over confidence caused him to blast across the last major water crossing a little too hard and a little too fast. It was as if I could see it coming. As I watched him start to cross the river I shut off my bike and got my camera ready. Sure enough, the rental XR was drowned. I snapped a few pix and shouted to Joe that if he would only turn around and pose for a photo I would walk out in the water and help him pick up his bike. I’m sure he heard me, but pride is a powerful motivator and Joe picked his bike up and pushed it to the bank by himself.

We had never drowned an XR250 before but we knew that we had to pull the plug and pump the water out of the cylinder. And we did. Time after time again we pulled the plug and pumped water from the cylinder. Afraid that the battery would die, I made several attempts to bump start the bike with no success. What we didn’t realize was that the carb bowl had filled with water and every time we pumped the cylinder dry the carb filled it back up with water again. Once we drained the bowl until gasoline ran clear the bike fired under its own power and off we rode back to Chiang Mai. Thank goodness Joe wasn’t riding a kick start only XR400.

The 1322 is a very nice, twisty road that you would probably never ride if you weren’t arriving by dirt. Joe took off quickly and left us in his dust. He had much more confidence in his knobbies than I had in mine. Riding at a slower pace allowed Greg and I to intermingle with the locals. I watched with trepidation as I came around a corner and saw three dogs doing a three-way butt sniff in front of me. I knew from past experience that once you get into a 3-way butt sniff, all common sense goes out the window. I wanked on my horn and hit the brakes and just as I did, the lead butt sniffer headed for my front wheel. I’ve hit dogs before and I always remember the rule that you should always maintain a straight line in this situation. Keep straight I did and luckily the dog bounced off the engine and didn’t get under the front wheel. I heard a yelp, saw a dog run away toward the side of the road in my mirror and I kept going at 100 kmh and Greg lagged behind, maybe hoping for a photo op? 2 km later we came around a corner and right in front of me was a huge snake that slithered quickly out of my lane. I motioned with my hand to Greg and we both agreed that the snake was at least 2 meters long as it ran across the road. Greg insists that the snake touched the center line as well as the RH lane marker at the same time. I’m not 100% sure about that, but I’ve never had nightmares about snakes before. The remainder of the ride back to Chiang Mai was uneventful. No tigers, no monkeys trying to steal parts off our bikes.

No Stranger - part 2

20 miles from our hotel in Phnom Penh, Greg’s shift lever came loose again while he was driving. We pulled into a roadside gasoline shop and repairs commenced. The sun was going down. Greg refused to give up on bolting the stripped shift lever to the semi-stripped shaft. He had a nice, long pair of needle nose vice grips in his toolkit that I kindly suggested Greg use as a make-shift shift lever but he was reluctant to cause any harm to any piece of his beloved cult bike. Just as the sun set on the horizon, the shaft was firmly attached. The tools were gathered quickly and I rode, Greg drove, to our hotel with the help of headlights.

That night, after we showered and settled in for the weekend and quickly learned that we had the town to ourselves. Chinese New Year is a time when people go back to their village and share their wealth with the family. How lucky for us, a nice quiet weekend.

On advice of the good Reverend Bob, we hired a tuk tuk for the day and toured the city. Being Chinese New Year, there was light traffic and we moved about swiftly. We visited open air riverside bamboo huts where fresh, local fruits and juices were served. We searched for the best value we could find for our hard earned money. That night, our driver to us to one of the finest establishments in Phnom Penh and we quickly decided to go eat somewhere we knew could stomach it. We went for a walk about and ended up having tossed salad and shark fin soup. For drinks, we had a martini and then we finished with a hearty massage.

A frequent Phnom Penh visitor from Alaska was in town with his tg. We exchanged current data and he was off the next day to Angkor while we were off to find our sand at the beach. Sihanoukville was our destination. We stayed at Oceans – nice place, secure parking, close to food and drinks. If I was a beach guy, I think I would like it there. Nice cool breezes, good value for money and nice European food in the restaurants and mini marts.

Having decided to pass on the three day minimum rental/ride (not drive) to Bokor, we pushed on towards Koh Kong. Greg was hearing things again. Little voices kept telling him to take the ferry. Our Alaskan friend told us how wonderful the road to Koh Kong was so off we went.

The little voice knew his stuff. We rain into rain between the 3rd and 4th river crossings. For 10 km we trudged along what used to be bull dust but with water added became wet bull patties. If Bull Dust Bob were here, I’m sure he would have earned a new nickname. Greg rode ahead and stopped periodically to take photos. I soon realized that he was stopping to take photos of me with hopes of me sliding sideways on my arse. We watched as bulldozers pulled waiting mini-vans up the steep sections.

Being 200 cm tall has its advantages. My legs make good outriggers for slalom skiing on the GS. Things went well for a long time, especially the flat sections and downhill’s. Then we came to the section where they were drilling rock and the road went uphill. I stopped when I was exhausted and needed a break but the drilling machine nearby was just so danged loud that I had to push on another 50 meters. This time when I stopped, the air compressor that powered the drilling machine seemed just as loud so I pushed on again – into the uphill incline. I watched as the cult bike climbed up the hill and out of sight.

I spotted a nice place to park and rest and just as I was making my way there the rear wheel spun and slipped out from under me causing me to lay my wonderful ENDURO bike in the mud. Fugetaboutit I said, as I stopped to drink a bottle of water and contemplate my next move. A construction truck pulled up behind the GS and looked anxious for me to move it. I motioned to him to come and help me pick it up as I wasn’t ready to do it alone.

We stayed at the Champa Koh Kong guest house and enjoyed the hot shower, hot food and cold supply liquid refreshments. Our Alaskan friend came through this road 2 days later on his Africa Twin and commented that the road was only wet in a few places. I think Greg's cloaking device upset the cosmic karma balance and caused the rain. The locals said it hadn’t rained there in months. After a restful night’s sleep, Greg announced the morning that he was still “Master of his Domain, Lord of the Manor”. He also commented that “The accommodations at the Champa Koh Kong Guest House leave you feeling refreshed and ready to ride the next morning.”

We crossed the border at Hat Lek, and made our way towards Pattaya. The highway opened up to 6 lanes as we approached our destination and I enjoyed opening up the GS between red lights and then waiting for the cult bike to catch up. About 20 km out of Pattaya, I stopped and waited for Greg. Two cigarettes later, I made a u-turn to find my friend. I rode 25 km back to the last place I saw him and made another u-turn. Another 25 km back to my original stopping place and the cult bike was not to be seen. I wondered if the cloaking device had finally started working?

Upon arrival at the hotel I found that Greg was already there, having ridden the last 20 km in the back of a pickup. We decided that this is where we should rest and recover from our long journey. We worked hard, rode hard and Greg even drove hard. We deserved a rest and Pattaya was the natural choice.

No Stranger to Danger Expedition - part 1

While on our research mission in Manila, Dr G and I planned a trip to Cambodia via motorcycle. He would be riding his "cult bike", a 20 year old Kawasaki KMX200cc dirt bike and I would ride my BMW GS1200. We agreed to spend the night of the 16th in Aranyaprathet and cross the border on the morning of the 17th for a week, more or less, in Cambodia. I left Chiang Mai 6 days earlier so that I could complete my goal of visiting all 76 provinces in Thailand on my GS.

The following thread occurred via sms:

Sent: 2/15/07 8:01 PM

From: Frazier, Greg

THROTTLE CABLE BROKE-CAMPING IN JUNGLE TIL LIGHT. GET TWO ROOMS. LAST NIGHT FINED, THIS NIGHT STUCK IN THE JUNGLE. NOW I TAKE PILL-UP AT LIGHT, PUSH.

To: Frazier, Greg

Sent: 2/15/07 8:04 PM

OK, keep in touch. Good luck in the jungle. Watch out for the mosquitoes. BBQ

Sent: 2/15/07 8:09 PM

From: Frazier, Greg

SNAKES-I WILL SLEEP ON THE BIKE!

I ate fresh seafood with friends in Samut Sakhorn on the 15th and left for Bangkok the next morning. I took the ring road around Bangkok as I knew that the probability of hitting a police checkpoint on the ring road during rush hour was low. I’ve been nicked midday on the ring road before. I arrived in Aranyaprathet about 2:00 and stopped at customs to find out what time they opened and confirm that they wanted 3 copies of everything. I found the Nava Phanom guest house, 2.5 km before the border. I booked 2 rooms and as Greg said, I turned the air on in his room - because I’m a nice guy.

I showered, turned on the TV and took a nap. Greg rolled in just at dusk and did smell kinda funny. He mentioned the tiger and I couldn’t help but wonder to myself if it wasn’t a 660ml tiger rather than a 100kg tiger.

We ate dinner and then proceeded to finish the last of the refrigerated beverages and were reduced to drinking with ice cubes. We flew the Tea DrinkKing flag high. As we headed to our rooms, I noticed a strange glow coming from the cloaking device on Greg’s bike. I looked closer and could smell something burning. I put my hand near the device and exclaimed “this is freaking cold”. Greg said it had something to do with the superconductor the drove HPU (hand powered unit) in his cloaking device and that I should never touch it again. Little did he know that the very next day, during the first of many fuel stops, I caught the cloaking device as it fell off his bike. "Greg”, I said, “put this away and start RIDING your motorcycle.

Over breakfast the next morning, Greg gave some tips on writing. We talked about how you feel when you throw your leg over the saddle of an iron horse. We finished eating and jumped on our trusty steeds, brought them to life then headed for the border. I made sure to wear my lucky Buddhas on the outside of my shirt, as I usually wear them inside to give me more protection. Every civil servant that we came in contact with commented positively about them.

I tried to help Greg with the trouble he was having with his motorbike. He had breakdowns daily. I think he rode 200 km more than I did in Cambodia because of his early morning parts hunts / repair sessions. I told him it wasn’t the bike, but that it was he hadn’t become one with the machine yet. I tried as hard as I could to educate him and tell him that he should be RIDING his motorbike, not DRIVING it and that as soon as he became a rider the bike troubles would go away. He countered that if he was a rider then who is the person sitting behind him when he’s 2-up? I replied, “a passenger”. Despite my best efforts, bike gremlins would plague him for the remainder of the trip.

Greg driving his motorcycle

The cult bike

An all too common sight

The cult bike ate the master link and the rear tire ate the license plate.

I think I smoked more cigarettes this ride than any other in the past. I’m comfortable riding at 130 on the GS, the KMX200 ran best at 80 and had an 80 km tank. We stopped every hour for fuel. Out of concern for my friend, when I did ride ahead of him, I’d stop every 15 minutes (20 km) and wait for him to catch up. I don’t want to be accused of leaving the dead and crippled behind again.

Every darned hour!

Coming up? A lovely 10 km mud slalom on the GS

I always wanted to be first at something

You know, "to boldly go where no man has gone before". And I am. Well, at least I'm the first person I've ever heard make the claim that they have ridden their motorcycle in all 76 provinces of Thailand. I'm sure it's been done before but like I said, I've never heard anyone make that claim. I did this on my GS and it took me a while as I was reluctant to visit the Deep South. I was waiting for the violence to subside, which doesn't appear likely to happen any time soon. I had planned a ride to Cambodia with Dr. G on February 16 and this seemed like a good time to head south and finish my objective, bombs or no bombs!

When I left Chiang Mai on February 10, I had already visited 64 provinces and had but the 12 southernmost provinces to conquer. I spent the first night in Bangkok and left for the south early Sunday morning. I hate riding the GS in BKK and leaving early, especially on a Sunday, makes the ride more bearable. Made Surat Thani the next night and stayed in a cheap bungalow on the beach so I could take the ferry to Samui the next morning. The ferry takes 90 minutes and costs 180B from what I remember. Samui is part of Surat Thani province so I didn't have to go there to complete my objective, but I've never been there and wanted to confirm that it was indeed a place that I wouldn't want to spend a holiday at.

Samui, like Phuket, embodies many of the things I like least about Thailand. Lots of big white tourists walking around with their Lonely Planet books standing on corners trying to find their way to the next hot tourist spot. I also hate the tourist prices on those islands. Besides which, I am a very white skinned boy and do not tolerate the sun well at all. In the short time I was there, I saw two different tourists crash their rental step-throughs'. I felt really out of place riding there because I was wearing a helmet and protective riding gear. It doesn't appear that there is any helmet enforcement at all in Samui. Like most other places in Thailand, helmets are those things you wear so that you have something to hold the face shield so you can ride faster.

I made a loop around Samui and was back on the 11:30 ferry. I made it to Hat Yai that night. I hadn't done any research on where I wanted to stay while on this trip and just happened to stumble across this place. Hat Yai is a happening town. Lots of tourism business geared to Malay and Sing people, very few farang spotted.

The next day I was going to ride Thanon Lombert, the road of bombs. I left the panniers in the hotel so I could ride faster and headed south through Pattani, into Naratiwat (the southern most province), crossed the border, took a photo and headed north so I could make a small side trip to Yala. The biggest differences I noticed in the deep south was a very strong local dialect that made difficult to even buy gas, the girls look very Malay - not Thai, and the checkpoints were manned by soldiers surrounded by lots of razor wire instead of cops looking for tea money.






The 3 southernmost provinces - the ones you read about in the news.



Razor wire




It's a long way to Bangkok from the northern border of Pattani.



It's also a long way from Ratchadapisek road to Ratchadapisek beach.

I spent a second night in Hat Yai and headed northwest to visit Satun, Krabi, Trang and spend the night at my buddy Gabe's place on Kamala beach in Phuket. With Phuket out of the way, I only had one more province to go and I woke early the next morning to take the 4 through Ranong. Ranong town is a lot like Samut Sakhorn - everything smells like cat food. Both towns have big fish/shrimp processing plants. Another thing to look for when riding in the south? Stinky fish water/blood dripping from trucks. You can usually smell it as you're coming up on them and get in the other lane so you don't get splashed. A couple of times I wasn't lucky and got hit.

The roads in Ranong would make good motorcycle roads if they weren't shiny, greasy and covered in fish blood. I didn't get to enjoy much lateral acceleration there. From Ranong I headed north towards Bangkok and played leapfrog with a group of Harley boys heading to bike week in Pattaya. They invited me along and told me that I was going to miss a hell of a party. I told them that there is always a party in Pattaya.





I found an interesting place to buy gas in Ranong. I've never seen a self serve coin operated gas pump before.




Oh yeah, I found another province that I'm sure no one else has been to - the 77th province in Thailand. If you don't know where it is, ask your tg to read it for you.

Total km: 6500 including Cambodia with Dr G. 18 days.

No bombs today

It's over, I rode to Pattani, Yala and Naratiwat today and didn't get killed. Very muslim down there. I don't think I saw any females that weren't wearing head scarves - even saw a few burkhas.

Pretty countryside views everywhere. Nice weather. Nice breeze all day long Partly cloudy so it wasn't too hot. Kind of strange because normally when I see cloauds like these it means I'm going to get wet soon. 2200 km so far and no rain.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Phuket to see Gabe. Haven't seen him in a while. Have to make a small side trip along the way to visit Satun province. Strange looking province map-wise. Only one 3 digit road and only 2 4 digit roads leading into the province from the east. Must be some mountains between here and there.

Pix to follow, when I hit an internet café.

BBQ

Did I mention...

that I love riding my BMW? 100 hp makes the long highway trips somewhat enjoyable. I rode 700 km 2 days ago from Chiang Mai to Bangkok and spent 2 nights there and left this morning for south Thai. The weather is great - a little cloudy so it wasn't too hot. Tomorrow I go to Samui and the next night I stay in Hat Yai. I will use Hat Yai as my launching point to visit the 3 southernmost provinces in Thailand. There has been a Muslim separatist movement there for a while and they have been blowing things up randomly for some time. I want to make a quick run down the highway so I can say I went there on my motorcycle. By the end of the week I will ba able to say that I've been to all 76 provinces in Thailand. Why am I doing it? Because it's there. Some people want to say they have riddent around the world by motorcycle. I don't know of anyone who has made the claim that they have ridden in all 76 provinces of Thailand.

In search of 2 wheeled therapy

I left Chiang Mai 2 days ago for a 21 day motorcycle trip. Tonight I stay near the ferry to Samui, tomorrow am I'll go over for 1 night. Then I go off to the deep south in search of bombs. After I finish my tour of southern Thailand I am going to Cambodia with Dr G.
I'll post as time and bandwidth permits.

Money

Money, get away. Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay. Money, it’s a gas. Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash. New car, caviar, four star daydream, Think I’ll buy me a football team.
Money, get back. I’m all right jack keep your hands off of my stack. Money, it’s a hit. Don’t give me that do goody good bullshit. I’m in the high-fidelity first class traveling set and I think I need a Lear jet.
Money, it’s a crime. Share it fairly but don’t take a slice of my pie. Money, so they say. Is the root of all evil today. But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that they’re giving none away.
Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon

There are two kinds of money, MY MONEY, YOUR MONEY and OTHER PEOPLES MONEY (OK, so I can’t count). Here are some of my thoughts about MY MONEY.

The community of riders here in Chiang Mai are pretty good bunch of guys. I haven’t ridden with each and every rider here but I’ve met a lot of them and haven’t met any that I’m not on friendly terms with. I know that if I was in trouble and needed help, I could call upon my fellow GT riders and I believe they would do their best to help me out. If I was called upon for assistance by a fellow GT rider, I would do my best to help them out as well. We have to stick together because in Thailand, we are all visitors. We are here as guests and I am happy to be a guest of the Kingdom. We have almost no rights here and the laws and business practices are stacked against us so we have to help each other.

There’s been a falling-out between two of my friends here in Chiang Mai and frankly I’m at a loss as to what to do about it. I don’t think there’s anything I can do to help, but I felt like putting my thoughts online. It seems that one good hearted friend (I’ll call him the LENDER) helped out another friend (let’s call him the BORROWER) when his Dad was dying and he needed to travel to another country to visit him. From the LENDER’s account, he loaned a good chuck of change so the BORROWER could buy air tickets for himself, his son and girlfriend to travel and see his Dad before he died. The LENDER also claims that he has “helped” the BORROWER in the past by purchasing and bringing motorcycle parts and accessories from the US for him. I haven’t confirmed any of this with the BORROWER, but the BORROWER has confirmed the validity of the debt in emails that I’ve been bcc’ed on. These events began some six odd years ago.

Myself? I learned long ago that if you want to keep someone as a friend then you should never loan them money and you should never live with them. Before I moved here 2.5 years ago, there were several people I worked with who owed me money but promised to pay me back. In one case, I had to make repeated attempts to collect the debt and the debtor made me feel like a heal because I was asking for MY MONEY to be paid back. He finally drove over to my son’s house and delivered MY MONEY in cash but it did damage our relationship and we haven’t communicated since then, too bad.

Case 2: When a “friend” from work learned that I was moving to Thailand he got excited and said that we could make big money selling Stingray leather products on Ebay. Stingrays are native to Thailand and leather products are manufactured here. This friend was a power seller on Ebay, had a good rating so I thought “what the heck, I’ll give it a try”. I did some research here and found a factory in Chonburi province that made Stingray products and bought as many pieces as I could fit in the top case of my BMW. My daughter took them back to the US when she visited and sent them to my friend. My friend did try to sell them on Ebay and was mildly successful. In the end, he sold about ½ of the pieces I sent. I had to continually ask for updates on how sales were going. My friend offered to transfer money to me by paypal, but when I asked him to do this it never happened. I was finally able to collect my share of what he sold after I visited the US last year. I had to drive to his house to collect the unsold products and get a paper check that I then had to take to the home branch of his bank the next day and stand in line to cash. We parted on amicable terms but haven’t communicated since. I sent him a link to my blog when I started it – maybe he’s reading now and recognizes himself? This “friend” had been screwed financially by a former mutual friend of ours. I never thought I would have to ask my friend for MY MONEY, but I did. BTW, I still have some Stingray leather products for sale – if you want to buy a nice gift for your TG, this just might be the ticket.

Case 3: When I was leaving my job and moving to Thailand, a lady “friend” who I used to work with asked me to get her a specific fake Louis Vuiton bag in Thailand. This lady and I were pretty close during the time we worked together. We shared some pretty intimate details of our lives with each other and enjoyed asking each other for advice about our personal lives. Yeah, she was a hot Latino but no, we never made the beast with two backs. If we had, it would have made it much harder to maintain our close friendship. (This would probably make a good third rule about friends – don’t sleep with them – once you do it would be hard to go back to just being friends). I found the bag she wanted, bought it with MY MONEY and sent it back to her in the US. I can’t remember how many times I had to ask for MY MONEY. She told me about how she was having trouble getting refinancing on her $750,000 house and the $75 would be coming soon. A few months later, she was still having trouble and told me that she “didn’t think I really needed the money right now”. Yeah, it was only $75. I’ve had bar tabs bigger than that. Am I greedy? No, I just wanted MY MONEY. If she had asked for it as a gift, I probably would have given it to her. The same trip back to the US I stopped by her office and picked up an envelope she left at reception for me. I haven’t heard from her since. Too bad, we really were good friends. The whole having to ask for MY MONEY thing ruined a good friendship. I don’t know why, but she really seemed to resent my asking for MY MONEY.

Case 4: I’m not going to document each and every case where things have turned bad because I had to ask for MY MONEY. Enough, pau lao.

Getting back to my two friends here in Chiang Mai, I really don’t want to choose sides. I'd like to maintain my middle ground. I’d like to remain friendly with both of them.

The BORROWER is a very well known in the GT and for the most part, a respected member of the community. The LENDER says he’s going to take this debt public – I think this could tarnish the BORROWER’s street cred although there is already a large circle of our friends who know about this. After all, this has been going on for SIX YEARS. Secrets like this don't live very long in a small town like Chiang Mai. The LENDER could come off looking like an asshole if he doesn’t play his cards just right. He could very well and up looking like a prick because he’s asking for HIS MONEY. Doesn’t make sense, does it?

Is the LENDER a prick? I don’t think so. If the BORROWER was making an effort to repay the debt I believe the LENDER would be happy. From what I can see, the BORROWER has a good lifestyle (my opinion) could repay this debt with a little sacrifice. It’s hard to not come off as being abrasive when you’re asking for YOUR MONEY. I know, I've had to do that too many times. I think it’s important to do everything you can to collect your debts without name calling, etc. That just makes you look bad. My advice? In my experience, taking the high road won’t actually help you in your collection efforts but it can keep your rep from being tarnished.

Rules: If you want to keep someone as a friend, don’t loan them money and don’t live with them. I was approached by the BORROWER once, in the middle of a group ride, and told that he would need to “borrow” some money from one of us in order to be able to finish his trip. I pushed off his request on another rider and dodged that bullet. I’ve since decided that I would rather have him pissed off at me because I refused to “loan” him MY MONEY than risk ruining all of the goodwill that we share because I would have to ask him to pay me back MY MONEY. Am I a cold hearted prick? Some would say yes – even without reading this piece.

I have a friend from San Diego that lives here in Thailand and we’ve had this exact same discussion. In the past, he’s asked me for a loan of MY MONEY. I told him no. Once I gave him an airline ticket and no, I don’t expect anything in return. I don’t think he’ll ask for MY MONEY again. Am I a cold hearted prick? Maybe. This friend has a Thai wife and they live what I would call a Thai lifestyle, living from paycheck to paycheck. Only worrying about today’s bowl of rice and not preparing well for their future (my opinion, ok? Sorry AJ). Why does that matter? If he was sacrificing what I consider luxuries like UBC, a brand new car payment and a brand new house payment (things I don’t have) I might feel differently about it. Knowing what their lifestyle is, I wouldn’t feel good having to ask for him to return MY MONEY. He still calls me and we still remain friends.

Loaning money to farang friends should not be confused with “loaning” money to Thai’s. Whenever you “loan” money to a Thai – consider it a gift that will never be reciprocated. If you have a TG, you know what I mean.

These are just my thoughts. After all, that’s what a blog is for – to publish your thoughts. Remember, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one and they all stink. If you don’t like my blog, don’t read it - write your own.

Feel free to comment, just click the Post a Comment link below. Really, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think. You can post anonymously.

Horizon's Unlimited 2007 Chiang Mai, Thailand

Here are photos from the event and video from the group ride. If you're a youtube newbie, it helps if you start the playback, mute the volume, go away and do something else while it streams to your computer and then unmute and click Watch Again. That way it won't be jerky if you have a slow connection. Yes Eric, the photos are free but if you feel the urge to pay please contact me through my blog.

Simply choose the size photo you want and download it. The video was fun to produce, but the files worked my little computer too hard and the danged thing crashed half a dozen times. Time for an upgrade. Eric (TYNDA), are you out there?

I had fun doing the photography and video but didn't get to meet too many people since I was working most of the time.

Night Manuevers

Mom called last night and we spent some time talking about Dad's medical problems and their frustration with the medical system because they couldn't get answers about his problems. Parkinsons, PSP? No conclusive diagnosis yet.

Anyway, just as I was finishing up the call, I started hearing gunshots outside my balcony. I live next to Wing 41 of the Royal Thai Air Force. I can spit off my balcony and it will land on the air force base.

I walked out on the balcony thinking that it was only fireworks but when I looked down I saw muzzle flashes. DANG, I thought, I'm standing up here on the 5th floor and there's terrorists trying to invade the base or worse yet, Thaksin's cronies are trying to smuggle him back into the country.

I ducked down and went inside. BOOM, a large flash bomb goes off. I turn my lights off and crawl back out to the balcony with my camera. I tried ISO1600 with the Nikon and then realized that what I needed was the Sony handycam in night vision mode.

I think they were doing training that night, at least I hope they were.

Amazing Thailand...

Score: BarryBBQ 1, Manila Taxi Drivers -1

After I finished my duties at the recent Horizon's Unlimited meeting in Chiang Mai, I went to Manila for a little vacation with Dr G. We researched the urban jungle and visited some high ranking officials from Kawasaki at the factory in Alabang (south of Manila). Greg stayed on to do some motorcycle touring and I headed back home to Thailand after 5 nights.

I broke my rule about not using taxis waiting in front of hotels. It seems like the security guy at the door was in cahoots with the taxi driver as he was only too happy to help me put my bags in that taxi. I asked the driver, before I got in, if he would use the meter and his response was “of course!” I heard him start the meter when we left and then he tossed a towel in front of the meter so I couldn’t see it during the ride. As we were pulling into the airport, he started fingering the meter and I heard several beeps.

We pulled up to the terminal; I got out with my bags and asked how much. He shows me the meter which said 570 pisos. The ride should have been about 100-150 pisos. I took out my camera and took photos of the front of the taxi, the back of the taxi, the license plate and stickers in the window and his face as well. Needless to say, he was intimidated by the BBQ camera. I said “wait here, I have to go get police to help". He tooted the horn and said “no, I discount for you!”. Every taxi in Manila has a phone number to call or sms if the driver refuses to use the meter. This guy must have thought I was going to call.

There weren’t any police in front of the terminal so I went inside. Didn’t find one there either so I simply went through security and checked in. Free taxi ride – pretty cool.

Throughout the 5 days we were there we used many taxis. Most drivers would quote a fixed price only (because we were rich white people). We only used taxis that agreed to use the meter. Even then, they would often beg for a big tip after the ride was finished. Strange, they all seemed to have a little Jesus on their dashboard. WWJD?

Would I go back? Yeah, when Kawasaki gives us free bikes to ride across South East Asia. I'm proud to say that I live in Thailand. Yes, there's some dual pricing here but it is the exception, not the norm. Manila is a real hole. Everywhere we went there seemed to be people (men) just hanging out on the street. They'd eye you as if they were sizing you up. "Is he drunk enough to roll easily?" "Is anybody watching?" It felt as if I was walking the streets of Tijuana at night (for you Alan).

I get stared at a LOT in Thailand but when I make eye contact with a Thai and smile, they always smile back. Thais stare at me because I'm a freak - I'm 2 meters tall! The Filipinos stare for different reasons.